月見時に

月見時に                 (tsukimi ji ni)                         As we watched the moon

我々笑った              (ware-ware waratta)      We laughed

大声で                       (ookigoe de)                         In a loud voice

朝にすぐ入り          (asa ni sugu iri)                   Into the early morning

まだお目を慕う      (mada ome wo shitau)    Still, I adore your eyes

This poem has been submitted to dVerse Poets under the prompt “Insta-Poetics.” There is a “2am” in the poem which I think will be easy to find.  For those “form”alists, there’s a reason why lines 3 and 5 have an extra syllable in the original.  🙂

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24 thoughts on “月見時に

  1. The complexity of the bilingual form is fascinating, & the English poem:
    ås we watched
    the moon,
    We laughed
    in a loud voice
    into the early morning.
    Still I adore
    your eyes/ has a distinct Asian feel to it, all cherry blossoms floating down a rushing stream in the moonlight. The extra syllables E/U do not help me to find my 2am; sorry.

    • 2am is not in the extra syllables, but elsewhere. The syllables are tied to the 大 kanji, which means big or a lot, and the length implied by the まだ, “still” or “not yet,” that it extends past this time.

      Thank you for your wonderful comment and tending to my poem. It is very much appreciated.

      AB

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